The Palace Park

The Palace Park

Friday, 14 May 2010

Everything is relative. . . except relatives

Dear Fang

Your grandparents arrived in London last Thursday. On Friday, we got ready for the party we were having on Saturday. On Saturday, we had a party. Mama may have drunk a bit too much, but no harm, no foul, as they say. Your grandmother may or may not have hit a couple of cars on her way back to ours. It was a good party.

They've gone off to France, your grandparents. I got up with them Wednesday morning, made your Grumpa coffee, hugged them goodbye and contemplated briefly whether I was making a mistake not going with them. I looked at your father as he got ready to drive them to the station and knew that now just isn't the time for me to be away.

The last few months, I've been a bit of a slacker. I'm not exercising like I should (I should be at the gym, working on getting back my womanly figure), I'm not keeping house like I should, I'm not really keeping up with commitments the way I should. In another place, in another time, I would be giving myself a hard time but now, I'm just along for the ride.

Things are changing fast. I am going to have to prepare myself for the fact that my office won't be the same: two people that I was close to are leaving (or have left) and there is a new person starting. Add to that the people traveling from the US and well, yeah. . . The world is just going to be different. But different can be good, right?

Your dad came home with news: his boss is leaving for another job and his boss's boss (I know, right? Hang in there) has been made redundant. I love that phrase 'made redundant.' It is so much more obnoxious and passive-aggressive than 'You're fired.' And it made me a bit nervous because I had made a decision that goes like this:

If the Bureaucracy doesn't get moving on notifying us about appointments, then dude, I'm going to jump ranks and get pregnant, results be damned. You need a sibling, I am ready to be a mama and actually HAVE a baby in the house (no offense, kitten. Have I mentioned that I had read a book about taxidermy-ing people? Well, embalming people for display, but still. . . I know, I know. Grief makes people a bit bonkers) and really, all of this milk has to be good for something, right? And Josie really needs someone small to pull her tail and tug on her ears.

But that could also just be me getting a bit apprehensive about how slow things now seem to move. When we were a unit, there was a finite period of time before we'd know how the chapter ended. You were - whether either of us were ready for it - going to come out eventually. But now, now things can just move idly along and get sidetracked. And I don't like being sidetracked.

You know?

No comments:

Post a Comment