The Palace Park

The Palace Park

Wednesday, 1 June 2011

What I have done differently this pregnancy

• I stopped being embarrassed about my increasing expanse and by being pregnant very early on. I ask for seats, ask people (politely) to move so I can tiptoe like a ballet-dancing elephant past them.
• I cut 7 inches off my hair into a shorter version of the photo of my hair in France just over 2 weeks ago. In a few weeks, I will go back for a trim and to put in a peacock green and navy blue chunk of discreet highlights. I always said I would do a green streak and them new cutie-pie, fresh from Northamptonshire Stylist Craig showed me their range of blues and I just knew. Craig is my new bff. I plan on making sure he stays in London for a very long time (or at least as long as I am here).
• I found a series of projects and a new job I liked and I applied for them.
• I said yes when people asked if they could help.
• I said yes when people asked if we would like any of their pre-loved baby stuff.
• I said ‘no,’ to things I don’t/didn’t want to do (usually)
• I have tried to limit the access of CRAZY and/or destructive people into my life. Crazy in good, healthy, fun, eccentric ways – you’re always welcome. Crazy in a ‘destructive, nasty, malicious, vicious, tenacious way,’ yeah. . . you know where the door is.
• I made and use a sign that says ‘Be Nice or Leave,’ and I sometimes use this sign on myself.
• I started a serious engagement with Congitive Behavioural Therapy (and not that Acceptance and Commitment-based stuff I did in 2008, but serious hardware reprogramming). This has been the most important thing I have done and it probably would have had to happen at some stage, regardless of whether Fang had passed away. There’s still a lot of work to go, but I really feel like I am becoming the best possible version of myself (albeit a bit later than I had originally thought I would) that I can be.
• I bought a great Mango evening gown designed by Penelope and Monica Cruz that has become the fill-in for most black-tie/fancy dress events that I have had to attend. I will save this dress and am currently working on tracking down the perfect array of cheongsam fabric to make into to lounging pajamas to wear underneath the dress for when it works but is a bit too revealing. ( I bought this dress for 8 Euros in France. I know, right?)
• I got rid of the maternity clothes that I really felt unattractive in or that just plainly didn’t fit because – although I am clearly SHOWING at this time – I am not about to erupt into a geyser of amniotic fluid at a moment’s notice.
• I have researched my birthing options thoroughly and have had to agree to a few compromises and that compromise is not a bad thing
• I have come to terms with why I have to make such compromises
• I have tried to keep up with my Pilates for Pregnancy regime but am not married to it.
• I don’t dwell excessively on what went wrong last time around, though I do make an effort to remind myself that part of all the poking and prodding this time is because I came very close to dying last time round.
• I have been more private and considered about this pregnancy, not because I don’t want to share but because it feels like the right thing to do.
• I eat and drink what I want to when I want. I have had a glass or two of wine. I have eaten the stinky cheese. And both were fan-freaking-tastic.