The Palace Park

The Palace Park

Saturday, 6 August 2011

Formerly known as Le Squid

Oh, my darling...how the time goes. Already, it is summer.

Your sister a gorgeously ginger biscuit of a creature with slate eyes so like yours arrived on 8 July at 0425. Her appearance was elegant, efficient and quick (not unlike yours). She is very laid back but make no mistake: no one puts this baby at the back of the bus. We call her the Benevolent Dictator.

I had no expectations of what was to come with the labor, not really. I made a list of what I wanted/needed to happen but, well...I sometimes forget I'm young at heart and fairy tales are mine for the dreaming.

People are constantly after me to regale them with how exhausted and tired I am...and the truth of the matter is that sure, I'm tired and occasionally there are floods of tears. But these are further and farther apart than I would have dared hope and for the most part, I just move languidly and at ease through the days and nights, finding my way with the Dictator, learning who she is and who I am growing into and what these things mean for us both.

There are moments with the feelings of awe and fear are so great within me, I can't help but think of you and gasp as I look at her, terrified that something other and reaching will take her away. But she is strong and vibrant and undeniably here.

My approach to being the mama bear is to be as fluid and relaxed as my nature will allow. For the first time in ages and ages, I am giving myself leave to operate on 'Mississippi Time.' My adage of 'Nothing happens before it happens' couldn't be more true now. We go where the day takes us with the occasional doctor/midwife/health visitors' appointment. I love being with the Dictator but my desire for stimulation has lead us all across the depth and breadth of the City. The Dictator, she travels well. I firmly believe this because from before I even knew of you, I believed in baby-wearing. I was baby-worn, learned to sleep wherever the wind blew and -- despite the notable bumps in the the roads of my past -- a great deal of that early childhood was idyllic BECAUSE of that flexibility and freedom.

In September, we take the Dictator back to the US. We will show her the willow tree that bears your name, we well take her round to be feted and adored. She takes adulation in stride, my Infant of Prague, my baby kraken.

Yes, sweet Fanglet. You have a sister.

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